I want people to be as I want them to be BUT they do not have to be as I want them to be. I want people, especially loved ones, friends, and significant others to treat me as I want them to treat me BUT despite my wishes, they do not have to treat me as I want them to treat me. I will assert myself hoping to get through to them. Nevertheless, I thoroughly know and accept that speaking to them guarantees little in the way of future good behavior. Sometimes I will assert myself, and sometimes I will choose to keep quiet for various reasons. Other people are independent beings and as such will act as they want regardless of how well I treat them. Therefore, my focus will be primarily on controlling what is under my control which is my attitudes, feelings, and responses to their mistreatment. It is far easier to manage my reaction to them than it is to control them.
People do not HAVE TO BE as I want them to be, although that would be lovely.